Some random thoughts

Been having some thoughts about things lately

First up, I can’t help but notice a trend with regards to my writing. Anything that demonstrates gender transformation tends to be male to female or something similar. More rarely do I show someone identifying as female gaining male genitals (though it does happen) and even then they do not stop identifying as at least mostly feminine. I don’t think I have anything I’ve written demonstrating someone who identifies as female becoming a new form where they identify as at last mostly masculine.

I want to make it clear that I have no problem with this idea.  ...

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“Vore Day Celebration”

Shayna and Ivory had a curious little holiday they liked to celebrate, and they decided it might be fun to get Smokey to join in for the first time. Chances were good they would give him a terrible stomachache, but that was just part of the danger when one celebrated Vore Day.

There’s a thing I wrote about in this story that… I’m not sure how to tag it. I think you’ll be able to figure out what I’m talking about when you get there. If you know what to call this, lemme know. I’ll remove this portion from the description and tag it.  ...

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Update – 11/1/2021

Previous job ended a good while back. I don’t miss it, but the cash flow is definitely missed. I have–however–secured another job. I’m still in training (I’ve only been there for a week) and I was brought on as a contractor rather than direct hire… which… thanks for that… if I had wanted to go through a staffing agency, I would have… especially because the staffing agency I HAD been working through had been practically dead freaking silent since I started back up with them.

Go figure.

Anyway… you might have noticed that for a while, this site had been pretty blank.  ...

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Life Update

So, if you’ve been paying attention to the feed here on my blog, you’ll no doubt notice I was on a pretty steep downward trend there for a while. Weeeeell… I ended up hitting rock bottom. I had me a full blown breakdown panic attack at work–there in the office–and handed in my notice.

That was more than a month ago. I’ve been unemployed for about a month. I’m looking for a job currently and I’ve got a bit of savings to live off of for a bit… but I’d like to get employed again pretty soon. But being away from that super stressful environment has been good.  ...

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I was right to be skeptical. Yesterday I struggled to find enough work to stay busy and just tried to run out the clock to leave at 5pm. Today… didn’t get out until 7pm, because the guy that does my previous job got completely hosed. I’m still doing my previous job, just… not until I’m done doing my new job. Lovely.  ...

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Thoughts on dunking

Assholes are like opinions. Everyone’s got one and it lets others know your full of shit…

…wait…

Okay so that was funnier in my head but whatever, it’s my blog, you can close the window if you don’t like my dumb humor.

I was perusing twitter recently (in before someone says ‘well there’s your problem’) and I saw someone talking about the Orville and how it’s so much better than any actual Star Trek in the last 20 years. It reminded me that they–and several others I encounter online–have some pretty strong opinions of things like New Star Trek (Disco, Picard, etc).  ...

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General rambly update

It’s been quite a while since my last post, I should post more frequently so people who visit here know that I’m still alive.

I’m just kidding! No one checks here to see if I’m alive!

Anyway, wanna know what’s been going on with me? Well feel free to read on, just be aware it’s very ranty and very venty and work-stuff and I will not be charitable. I recognize plenty of people have it way worse than me, and I don’t want to minimize or trivialize what they’re going through, but this is my experience and I have GOT to get it out, otherwise I will just fucking explode.  ...

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Realizations sometimes really suck

Do you ever have one of those moments that’s just like being struck by lightning, or you’ve been in a dark cave for ages and you finally found your way to the surface and that strong beam of light is blinding you with the clarity of direction?

Yeah, had me one of those.

See, I got me a lotta issues (which I’m sure you might be able to determine for yourself if you’ve read anything of this blog for any length of time) and working through them is hard. Doubly so when you know you need a therapist, but they cost an arm and a leg, and you’re already down a limb and a half covering your regular expenses.  ...

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And So the World Ended – short story

And so the world ended.

None who live today recall how it happened, or even that it happened. Therein lies the curious notion of ‘the end of the world’. How arrogant to assume the world ends when it is merely a world that ends. Another grows to replace it. Nature creeps back in to reassert herself in regions where she had been squashed. Once vast and shining cities crumbled. Monuments to the existence of those who built that ‘world’ now either stand completely concealed in vegetation, or have been reclaimed entirely by the earth.

The people who lived here have passed out of the memory of most all who have taken up residence.  ...

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Ring Fit, Physical Health, and Mental Health

I bought Ring Fit Adventure a couple of days ago, and immediately after, I had a serious mood crash where I just didn’t want to do a god damned thing. I ate only once that day (dinner) and then went almost immediately to bed. It SUCKED, but worse than that, I was beginning to fall into the trap I was afraid I would. I bought Ring Fit in spite of my concern that I would rarely use it, if at all, and it would end up collecting dust on a shelf somewhere, money completely wasted. Tuesday felt like a confirmation of that.  ...

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Recontextualizing

I’ve been dealing with a lot of self-doubt and shit like that this year. The pandemic hasn’t helped. Nor has our shit-lord of a president or his cronies and the extraordinary douchebags that support him.

I’ve questioned whether or not I belong anywhere, if my “skills” are really worthwhile, if maybe it would have been better if I hadn’t been born. Just your typical crisis of identity and purpose. You know… Tuesday.

And then I came across something on Twitter that really made me stop and think.

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If you aren’t in support of the protesters, if you support the cops, you are not welcome on this site. Unfollow me. Do not buy my books. Do not read my stories. Go away. Stay out of my life, out of my social media feed, and out of my society.  ...

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Saturday Ramble

Warning: this is not a happy post. It contains subjects that some might find triggering or upsetting. This is just a kind of stream of consciousness kind of ramble so there’s no real structure to it. Feel free to ignore.

Apparently, my sense of self-worth is really damn fragile. I mean, I kind of already knew this. Five minutes around my dad and I’m doing my impression of that emo kid on livejournal listening to Evanescence all the time talking about how dark and awful the world is. But today it only took one brief interaction to make me hate myself all over again.  ...

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Where has Smokey been?

The short answer: working.

I’ve been working my ass off at this new job. Normally, I get off around 5 pm so I can go home. However, there have been a few days where I end up staying late. Sometimes, it’s only a half hour, which isn’t bad. Sometimes it runs later, like until 6 pm. And on the rare occasion, I end up not being able to get away until 7 pm. That SUPER sucks. Especially since my commute, when traffic is cooperative, is at least half an hour. That can go as high as an hour or more if traffic really wants to get nasty.  ...

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State of the Dragon

For the last month, I’ve been working a new job that I started back on the 3rd of September. I’ve been trying to get used to the schedule but it’s tricky. I have to leave the house early enough to get to work on time in spite of the awful traffic, and then the traffic on the way back is twice as bad. And in order to get up early enough in the morning, I have to get to bed fairly early. This means I have only so much time to myself after work. It’s frustrating not having but a few hours that I can spend however I might, especially since I have to dedicate no small part of it to things that I have to take care of.  ...

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September Hiatus

Hey folks! If you’re a patron over on my Patreon campaign, then you’ve already heard this but I probably should put it here too.

I’m taking a hiatus from writing for the month of September. I failed to get anything published on Amazon for August, and I’ll probably not be publishing anything in September either. Don’t worry, I’m okay. I’m doing pretty good in fact, because I finally got me a job!

I was starting to run into the burnout problem with my writing in August, partly because my parents keep invading with virtually no warning, and that’s only going to get worse as the house they’re building gets closer and closer to completion.  ...

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