Several years back, I think it was around 2012 or so, long before the idea of Donald Trump becoming or even running for president ever entered the public consciousness, I had an idea for a story. It was about a public figure in the news, not so much a news anchor or a proper journalist. This was someone who was something of a pundit, though that word implies the notion of being an expert called upon to speak on a particular subject. The character was deeply inspired by people like Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Neil Cavuto, Tucker Carlson, and even the raving madness that is Alex Jones. ...
I had watched this earlier in the day, and I guess it churned away in my head amidst all the other things swirling around, keeping me from being able to see much other than the things about myself I don’t like. It’s kind of comforting to know that this is a real thing… but it’s also kind of a roundabout validation that maybe I repel the people in my life.
I’ve not been in the best of mindsets lately. Part of it
stems from the parents visiting. They don’t even have to do anything overtly
damaging. Mom isn’t so bad. She understands to a certain extent that A) I’m an
adult and B) she can’t force herself into my life if I don’t want it. Dad on
the other hand is completely oblivious to the emotional needs of the people
around him, to the point where he doesn’t get that a supposed joke he might
find funny is in fact rather insulting. Any extended period of time around him
is a serious risk to my self-esteem long term. ...
I’ve been going through updating the posts advertising my stories, both Amazon and SoFurry.
I’ve been wanting to shorten the advertisements telling people where they can go to buy my stuff, but wanted to somehow retain enough of the information that it still feels… well… informative enough. I’ve this weird feeling that if I get too long winded explaining where you can go, what you can do, how you can support… people lose interest and skim past it.
Maybe I’m just self-conscious or paranoid or whatever… but I did take a couple of marketing classes while I was in college so, there is a notion in my head that brevity is more effective. ...
There’s a lot that I don’t know. I make no delusions about
that, to myself or anyone else. So it’s pretty frequent that I come up against
a task I don’t know how to complete or a project I don’t know how to tackle. I
might try to muddle my way through, search the internet for guides or
resources, but that only gets me so far.
Because I’m a fucking dolt.
I’ve lost count of the times where I attempted something and
found I didn’t know what to do. Nothing I did brought me anywhere near the
result I wanted. All my iterations and attempts were met with failure. ...
Over the last several months, I’ve been trying to get myself
to wake up at a more reasonable hour. There were days where I had ended up
staying up until three or four in the morning and then I’d be in bed until noon
or later. It seemed fun initially, but over time, I got sick of it. I got tired
of missing out on most of the day. I hate that I’m on a completely different
schedule to the rest of the world. So I started using my alarm clock again
(specifically an app on my phone). For a while, I would wake up with it, or I
would just ignore it, but then something changed. ...
My friend Riddle was streaming for the first time in a few days. He’d had technical difficulties and he managed to overcome them at long last. While we were all watching him draw, chatting with him, he linked the chat to a tumblr post that I felt like might be a very good thing to share, even if it’s only ten or so people reading this.
Seriously, this is an important bit of text that reading through can help in ways you might not realize until you actually have a look through it.
I have a hard time starting work. This doesn’t mean getting
up in the morning and going to a job. Hah, I don’t have one! Be jealous of my
lack of sustaining income ye wage slaves! (what I wouldn’t give to have a
steady occupation). What I mean is I’ll have a daily goal set for myself, let’s
say writing so many words. I know I can do it. I’ve proven that I can. I have a
mountain of content I’ve created that speaks to the fact that I am capable of
such a feat.
I’m not even talking about starting a project. ...