General rambly update

It’s been quite a while since my last post, I should post more frequently so people who visit here know that I’m still alive.

I’m just kidding! No one checks here to see if I’m alive!

Anyway, wanna know what’s been going on with me? Well feel free to read on, just be aware it’s very ranty and very venty and work-stuff and I will not be charitable. I recognize plenty of people have it way worse than me, and I don’t want to minimize or trivialize what they’re going through, but this is my experience and I have GOT to get it out, otherwise I will just fucking explode.

Hell, I might explode anyway.


Anyway, still haven’t been able to get my writing mojo back because work is a colossal butt. Working from home sucked because the original workflow I was hired to do was beyond my capacity to complete in a regular 8-5 workday (with an hour for lunch… because I almost every day had to skip lunch to just work through since the workload was that heavy). Then I got brought back in to the office for what amounts to a demotion, doing a far less complex and far less important task. Strangely enough, the task was important enough that it needs to be completed before the next business day… but not important enough to put a second person on it full time. I would have to skip lunch frequently. I would have to stay in the office super late very frequently. I have–on at least a dozen days–been required to stay as late as 8 or 9 pm just to get enough work done that it’s either complete, or I can do the rest the next morning. I’ve also had to work at least half of my weekends since I started back in the office.

And **NOW** I’m on a **NEW** workflow, completely different, supposedly the next step in the process, and it’s intensely complicated, impenetrably convoluted, and entirely unnecessary meaning it is a job that only exists to give someone more to do. And then it became too much for that person to do on top of all their other work, so my manager decided I would be responsible for it, claiming it wouldn’t take long, I wouldn’t have many files to work, and I could knock it out in a couple of hours. That was a bald faced lie. Today was my fourth day doing the job, struggling to get the work done with very little training, and the amount of work I received was three times more than estimated at best, and six times more at worst. Oh, and I’m expected to complete that work so I can go help out the person hired to take over my previous position who I had only three days to train… and I can’t leave until THAT job is ALSO done.

AND THEN TODAY… I FIND OUT THAT BECAUSE A CERTAIN PERSON IS ON A WEEK-LONG VACATION, I HAVE TO GO BACK TO DO MY VERY FIRST WORKFLOW ON TOP OF THESE TWO… so now I have THREE FUCKING JOBS TO DO. I’m being told to do a manager’s workload, but I’m not getting paid like a manager. Hell, I had a manager come over to me and tell me I needed to do a completely new workflow for a completely new client that was recently added that I hadn’t been trained on, even though said manager said the other manager told them that I *had* been trained which I absolutely had not. I just… I can’t. I can’t even. None of this computes. Management is continuing to add new clients even though they have admitted that we can’t keep enough staff to keep up with the workload… meaning we’re already beyond capacity, but they keep adding clients. We need to DROP clients, but they’re adding more clients. We need to reduce the workflow so people don’t burn out and quit, but they’re adding more clients. We need more physical space before we can PROPERLY expand because they’ve set up more than a dozen folding tables–some with laptops–because they can’t install actual desks, but they’re adding MORE… CLIENTS…

So yeah, I need to get out of that place because they’re going to crush us all so they can make more money and make sure that we don’t get properly compensated for it. They just want us to quit so they can replace us with someone cheaper, temps they can let go when the workload drops back down, only it will never drop back down because THEY. KEEP. ADDING. MORE. CLIENTS.

It is unbelievably frustrating and it conjures all sorts of dark thoughts about wanting to quit playing this eternally rigged game.

But then the job hunt is its own fucked up rigged game. Just thinking about it depresses me and makes me want to just shut down and stop feeling anything.

So yeah, that’s what’s been up with me.